Hey folks, there’s a ton of good stuff coming out on DVD / Blu Ray / HD / Laser Disc / 8 Track / Punch Card in the month of February. Here’s my picks!

The Abyss / Alien (Double Feature)

Here we have two of the coolest monster movies every made. One is about an alien creature up in space. The other is about an alien creature down in the ocean. To complete the trifecta someone should make a movie about an alien creature on the earth’s surface. Maybe it could have a telescopic neck and eat Skittles. That’s a movie I would go see for sure!

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Brainstorm: Deluxe Edition

Brainstorm is the classic corporate motivational video about how to put your heads together in a business meeting to find workable solutions to every day market demands.

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Dragonslayer (I Love The 80’s Edition)

This is not to be confused with the prono Dragons Layer (I Love The 80’s Edition) about a well endowed black knight who likes to stick his sword in octogenarians.

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Eddie Murphy: Raw (I Love The 80’s Edition)

At the time of this classic comedy movie’s release in the early eighties it was the most fowl-mouthed, obscene, disgusting, four letter word laden film of all time. Until then, the most obscene thing on film was a rarely seen episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Barney tells Andy “Well, you can shove Aunt Bea’s fucking pecan pie up your redneck corn hole if I can’t have any, by gosh!”

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Peter Sellers: 5 Film Collection

What can you say about legendary comedic actor Peter Sellers other than, “Holy shit he’s got 5 movies on this one DVD!” What’s amazing is that there’s not a single Pink Panther movie in the collection.

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Young Sherlock Holmes (I Love The 80’s Edition)

The young Sherlock Holmes was far more effective in solving crimes than the old Sherlock Holmes who suffered from Alzheimer’s and was very, very gassy.

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Back To The Future

Actually ALL 3 BACK TO THE FUTURE MOVIES are coming out this month, but I’m far too lazy to write about all there. Perhaps I’ll go back in time and write about the other two later.

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Batman

This is the ORIGINAL Batman movie. And by ORIGINAL I mean the first good one.

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The Guitar

I’ll be honest…I have no idea what the hell this movie is about, but being a guitar player myself, I can tell right off the bat that this is likely a great contribution to guitarists everywhere…most of whom are single and really need quality fapping material.

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Living With The Mek

You don’t so much live with the Mek as you live in fear of the Mek. There is – I’m not making this up – a scene where the Mek turn one of the White Devil’s penis inside out…no joke. It’s a right of passage. A passage to kicking the fuck out of some Mek.

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My Name Is Bruce

Let’s just bask in this. There’s nothing I can really add to it.

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Rush Hour 1 & 2

A Black and a Oriental fighting crime. In their off time they do laundry for fried chicken restaurants. Lighten up! I’m just kidding.

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Van Damme Four Feature Film Set

A Van Damme quadruple feature! It’s like being punched in the face by Van Damme’s fists and feet at the same time!

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Batbabe: The Dark Nightie

Holy self stimulation Batman, I’m going to watch this movie until I dislocate my elbow!

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The other night I was flipping through the many channels my cable television provider funnels into my house for an ungodly monthly fee and I came accross Superman Returns
on FX. While this latest installment of the Superman series came out way back in 2006, I had never had a chance to see it. In fact, I had forgotten about it. So I was pretty surprised and stoked to stumble across it on TV.

I have to say…I was very, very impressed. I really liked how they stuck with the character portrayals and “feel” of the Reeve-era Superman movies. And Brandon Routh knocked it out of the park. He must have spent hours watching Reeve’s performances from the 80’s Superman movies, because he was right on the money with every little awkward Clark Kent glasses adjustment and every steely eyed Superman gaze.

I would have to say – and this surprises me – that I thought the weakest link in the chain was Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. In some ways casting Spacey as Lex seems like an obvious choice, but on the other hand…maybe it’s too obvious. I don’t want to go so far as to say his performance sucked, because it didn’t, but it just wasn’t all there I don’t think…at least not at the level I would expect it to be from Spacey. Sure, Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane was a bit dull, but I expect more from Spacey. Meh…maybe I’m just being nit picky!

All in all though, I was very pleased with the flick and regret that I never saw it in theaters. I will certainly have to be sure to go see the NEW Superman movie slated for 2011!

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So, for my first MB! post I decided that I HAD to post something REALLY compelling and well written. Here’s goes nothing…

Casino/Gambler films are cool. I like to watch them. I would like to watch this one. You should too.

Check out the trailer here!

Synopsis:

YONKERS JOE is an exciting, high-stakes con film and moving family drama written and directed by Robert Celestino, and starring Academy Award-nominee Chazz Palminteri, Academy Award-winner Christine Lahti, Tom Guiry (THE BLACK DONNELLYS), Golden Globe-nominee Linus Roache, and Academy Award-nominee Michael Lerner. An ode to old time gamblers, now outdated in an age of powerful upscale casinos, YONKERS JOE tells the story of a dice hustler (Palminteri) whose determination to make one last grab for a big score in Vegas is complicated by the reappearance of his estranged, mentally challenged son into his life.

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I just read over at SuperHeroHype.com that Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a remake of the cult classic goth hit The Crow based on the noir comic creation by James O’Barr.

I’m a little skeptical as to whether or not this needs to be done. Well, let’s face it, this doesn’t need to be done. The Crow is pretty much perfect as-is.

However, in the hands of a master craftsman like Norrington I’m sure a Crow remake couldn’t miss or be a box office flop or spiral into a never ending shitfest of straight-to-DVD productions. He did bring us such cinematic masterworks as Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a movie full of CGI so bad that it makes Disney’s 1928 cartoon classic Steamboat Willie look like The Matrix.

Norrington’s vision is to have this new version of The Crow be a “realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style” film which means that all you goth kids out there can pretty much get out of line for tickets to this one and get back to your poetry slams, cutting and other overly dramatic pleas for attention and acceptance.

Of course, the question you should be asking yourself is “just who exactly is going to play this new Crow, anyway? You know?” I have an idea. Since we’re going for a more realistic, hard-edged, documentary style vibe, I propose Dennis Franz of NYPD Blue fame.

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There is what appears to be a very interesting and amusing movie currently seeking distribution called The Mother of Invention about a young man – Vincent Dooly – vying for an inventor’s award. This looks to be a quirky little flick in the same vein of such films as Napoleon Dynamite, which means that – like Napolean Dynamite – either you’ll love it or you’ll hate it…there won’t much in between. His name is Vincent Dooly, and here is his super suit:

Vincent and the Super Suit from Vincent Dooly on Vimeo.

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Well, kids, believe it or not I don’t have time to write a good meaty post today because…my wife and I are having a baby. Yep, we’re heading off to the hospital in about an hour for the big event. So I’ve decided to post some movie trailers for your viewing enjoyment!

Click for trailer or press play if embedded. Like I have to tell you this:

Friday the 13th Teaser Trailer

Terminator: Salvation Movie Trailer

Yes Man Trailer

Valkyrie Trailer

Frost/Nixon Trailer

The Day the Earth Stood Still Trailer

The Great Buck Howard Movie Trailer

The Race to Witch Mountain Trailer

Punisher: War Zone Trailer

The Spirit Trailer

Last but not least. Here’s a little a trailer I threw together for my forthcoming kid. I even composed the music. Awwwww.

Enjoy!

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If you’re anything like me, then you love a good buddy movie. If you don’t love a good buddy movie then you need to be kicked in the liver. Buddy movies have everything we as human beings long for: friendship, camaraderie, cheer, companionability, companionship, comradeship, conviviality, esprit de corps, fellowship, gregariousness, intimacy, jollity and many other words than can be found in any good thesaurus.

Sometimes, though, movie buddies don’t really behave like buddies. Sometimes one or both of them behave like complete jackasses. Just like a dysfunctional family, they may love each other, but they also really, really, really get on each others’ nerves. Here’s a few of our favorite dysfunctional movie buddies.

ABBOTT & COSTELLO

EVIDENCE (From Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein):

Bud Abbott: I don’t get it. Out of all the guys around here that dame has to pick a guy like you.
Lou Costello: What’s wrong with that?
Bud Abbott: Why don’t you go take a look at yourself in the mirror.
Lou Costello: Why should I hurt my own feelings?

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THE THREE STOOGES

EVIDENCE:

This picture pretty much sums it up. Moe and Larry weren’t exactly nice to each other, but they both loved to beat the hell out of poor, fat Curly. The long term effects of continual eye pokes and having his head crushed in vices eventually took their toll and Curly had to be put to sleep;his bloated and bruised carcass donated to science. It is still on display in the Nyuk, Nyuk wing of the Simthsonian.

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C3PO & R2D2 – Star Wars (1979)

EVIDENCE:

R2D2: bleep, bleep, bloop, squawk.
C3P0: Shut up you fuckin’ idiot.

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ALEX DeLARGE AND HIS DROOGS – A Clockwork Orange (1971)

EVIDENCE:

Well…there’s a bit too much for this little blog, but for starters: 1) They walk around IN PUBLIC wearing gigantic codpieces AND bowler hats, and 2) They beat the fuck out of everyone…including one another.

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JAY & SILENT BOB

EVIDENCE:

Jay is an egotistical sex crazed delinquent and Silent Bob is a self imposed mute who only pipes up when he has some long winded obvious point to make. And they spend their free time hanging out outside of a convenience store.

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FELIX & OSCAR – The Odd Couple (1968)

EVIDENCE:

One is an obsessive compulsive neat freak whose expectations of tidiness borders on the psychotic, while the other is a disgusting, trogloditic slob…and they live together! What wackiness must ensue!

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LAUREL & HARDY

EVIDENCE:

Generally speaking, people who choose to wear bowler hats in public shouldn’t be trusted. Do I need to remind you about A Clockwork Orange?! In addition, one of them wears a Hitler style mustache and continually smacks around his severely retarded sidekick…who seems to accept the abuse as if it’s well deserved!

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NEAL & DEL – Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

EVIDENCE:

Anytime a slovenly shower curtain ring salesman gets involved with a straight laced marketing executive, you know you’re in for a world of crazy times! Case in point: Del convinces a throng of people that his shower curtain rings are actually EAR rings so that he and Neal can make some fast cash. Somehow these people are actually duped and fork over hundreds of dollars for these things. How they managed to fit shower curtain rings through tiny earring holes is a mystery that probably resulted in several trips to the emergency room. But by then, Neal and Del had long since skipped out of town!

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LLOYD & HARRY – Dumb and Dumber (1994)

EVIDENCE:

Two words: Turbo Lax. In a jealous spat over a girl, Lloyd sneaks Harry and massive dose of laxative just before he is to embark on a date with the woman at the center of the two men’s strife. The result is…well…juicy. I’ll let this vid take over from here:

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