Holy crap there’s a lot of stuff coming out on DVD/Blu Ray/HD/Download in February. Here’s my picks out of the whole lot for what may actually be worth watching.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - 2/5/2008

If this title were any more descriptive you wouldn’t need to watch the movie. The title should come with a freakin’ bookmark! I haven’t read that much since I took the SATs.

The Best of Comedy Central Presents: Uncensored - 2/5/2008

You ever notice how Comedy Central Presents is always censored. You ever notice that? What’s the deal with that? I mean, excuuuuuuuuuse me!

The Brave One - 2/5/2008

It sure seems like Jodie Foster spends an awful lot of time kicking serious ass in her movies.

Dangerous Worry Dolls - 2/5/2008

I don’t think there’s such a thing as a non-dangerous worry doll. Seems like if a doll has the ability to worry…that might be pretty dangerous. I would stomp on it.

Killer Pad by Robert Englund” - 2/5/2008

This movie looks so bad it looks good. Plus, it’s directed by none other than Freddy Kruger himself: Robert Englund!

Perfect Strangers: The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons - 2/5/2008

Holy crap if you are a child of the 80’s and you don’t love this show you need to be hit in the face with a bovine anal probe! This was one of the best shows ever! And GOD what a killer them song!

Tootsie: 25th Anniversary Edition - 2/5/2008

Admit it. He looks pretty damn tasty don’t he? I bet there’s no dust in that Hoffman! Jeez, you’re so gay!

Academy Awards Animation Collection: 15 Winners - 26 Nominies - 2/12/2008

See that old school Superman up there. Those old Superman toons were some of the most kickass cartoons of all time. They were rotoscoped and looked fantastic.

Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav: Uncensored - 2/12/2008

Flavor Flaaaaav! Shit I want to punch that idiot in the face. But this roast is pretty damn funny. It’s amazing the racism they get away with. I kept expecting armed members of the FCC to bust in, swat team style, and shut the whole thing down…and that was the censored version!

The Equalizer: Season One - 2/12/2008

This show was fairly hard core for it’s time. Very dark. It was like Matlock if Matlock had been willing to shoot people in the face.

In the Shadow of the Moon - 2/12/2008

The moon is the closest planet to the Earth. This is about the brave men who flew there in their rocket powered star vessels.

The Wiz: 30th Anniversary Edition - 2/12/2008

I don’t know if you should buy this to watch it, or to burn it. I guess if you do the first you’ll naturally want to do the second.

COPS: 20th Anniversary Edition - 2/19/2008

Bad boys, bad boys watcha goin’ do? Apprently run around the trailer park with no shirt on while trying to swallow a dime bag of weed.

B.L. Sryker: The Complete First Season - 2/26/2008

This show was a lot like T.J. Hooker except that it was spelled differently.

The Darjeeling Limited - 2/16/2008

This is the tale of three estranged brothers who get together after their father’s death and years of being estranged to reconcile their differences and get to know each other all over again while riding a train across India. Sounds hilarious don’t it. Jason Schwartzman is in this flick. Check out this here post of mine about how he is also a really good musician.

Newhart: The Complete First Season - 2/26/2008

Hi. My name is Larry. This is my brother Daryl. And this is my other brother Daryl.

The Smurfs: Season One - 2/26/2008

Did you know that the Smurfs are actually 50 years old? Yep, they were created in 1958 by the Belgian cartoonist Peyo. How could you not smurfing know that?! You smurfing piece of smurf!

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It’s that time of the month again. Picks of the Month time! Kickass. There’s a ton of great stuff coming out next month, and quite a bit more stuff that looks absolutely horrible, such as Chair Aerobics For Everyone: Chair Boxing. I wasn’t aware that chairs were allowed in boxing. Or maybe this is a DVD about putting chairs into boxes. That might be handy if you sell chairs on eBay or you like sitting in boxes. At any rate, here are the MovieBlast! Picks of the Month for January 2008…

3:10 to Yuma - DVD | Blu Ray - 1/8/2008

3:10 to Yuma is a remake of an older movie based on a book by Elmore Leonard, who is one of the best Western genre writers of our time…and he also wrote Get Shorty which makes me think he might suffer from multiple personality disorder. We think this movie is great, and by “we” I mean me and the cabal of voices in my head.
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American Carny: True Tails From the Circus Sideshow - DVD - 1/8/2008

When was the last time you went to a carnival? I’m not talking about something fancy like Marti Gras, I’m talking about a real carnival. One of those carnivals that just spring up overnight in the parking lot of a condemned K-Mart parking lot with rides like The Zipper, The Puker, and The Aneurysm? These rides are usually very safe even though they look as if they’d been constructed by a special ed shop class using scraps from a plane wreck. THAT kind of carnival. I haven’t been to one in years, but this DVD is all about carnies and it looks cool.
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Family Guy: Blue Harvest - DVD -1/15/2008

Here we have the fantastic Star Wars homage/spoof done by the Family Guy guys. Why is this called Blue Harvest? Blue Harvest is also the fake movie name used by George Lucas while filming Return of the Jedi to keep info leaks about it to a minimum. The fake movie name Lucas used for The Phantom Menace was Utter Shit Harvest…little did he know.
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Life of Brian: The Immaculate Edition - DVD | Blu Ray - 1/29/2008

Despite guaranteeing that the members of Monty Python will be spending the afterlife in hell, this movie is an all time comedy classic. But I guess you always gotta look on the bright side of life.
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Shoot ‘Em Up - Blu Ray - 1/1/2008

I haven’t seen this yet, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about it from friends and critics that I admire. The phrases “kickass” and “holy shit” and “freaking awesome” keep coming up when I talk to people about Shoot ‘Em Up, so I betting it’s a rocker.
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Con Air - Blu Ray - 1/8/2008

Here’s the first of two Nicolas Cage movies in this months POM. Con-Air is a flick about a bunch of convicts taking control of a prisoner transport plane. A prisoner transport plane? Airlines can’t even keep track of my luggage and I’m supposed to let them ship convicts around?! Badda bing! No respect, I tell ya.
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The Rock - Blu Ray - 1/8/2008

Here we have the second Nicolas Cage movie of this installment of Picks of the Month and all I have to say is…I don’t really understand the DNA of Sean Connery. Shouldn’t he be dust by now? He’s roughly 110 years old, and yet the older he gets, the cooler he gets, and the more sure I get that he could totally kick my ass.
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