Hey, gang I’d like to introduce a pal of mine. His name is Jim and he’s an actual, for real film maker guy. Jim is president / owner / warlord of Twitchy Dolphin productions. He often enlists me to play parts in his flicks and contribute original musical compositions. In fact, I’m currently cast for several roles!

In an effort to boost my output level here at MovieBlast! I’ve asked Jim’s permission to post some of the movie reviews he writes on the Twitchy Dolphin Blog. So without further ado, here is Jim’s official review of GET SMART:

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Of all the summer movie genres – Superhero, Action, Romantic Comedy, one of the genres of flicks that reigns as traditional summer fare is the ACTION COMEDY.

Movies like BEVERLY HILLS COP, LETHAL WEAPON reign at the top of this genres. RUSH HOUR is more of a middle of the pack-er.

Just got back from GET SMART and honestly, it aquits itself pretty well. The obvious joke was to make Maxwell Smart, played by Stever Carrel, a blundering idiot. They pleasantly went a different route. Instead, he actually can do things and hold his own. The comedy comes more from “trying to hard” or “fish out of water” jokes as he transitions from analyst to agent. I loved the fact that he held his own right and didn’t just rehash the TV show’s old jokes.

Supporting Carrel are Terence Stamp (General Zod) as the bad guy and a great cameo by PUDDY from Seinfeld. Anne Hathaway STEAMS it up as Agent 99….more on her later. The Rock (not Dwayne Johnson…he’s the rock to you, sucka) is HILARIOUS. And Alan Arkin hasn’t been this funny since GROSSE POINT BLANKE.

The comedy was there, as were some awesome action scenes, including a BAD ASS sky diving fight.

So, like I said, a pretty well done summer flick.

Here is my ranking of the Summer movies I’ve seen so far:

1) Iron Man
2) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
3) Get Smarth

Yet to see:

1) Hancock
2) Incredible Hulk

On the docket:
1) Hellboy II
2) Batman: The Dark Knight
3) The Dark Knight
4) Batman Begins II

NOW, on to Anne Hathaway. After a FRIENDS episode years ago, Jess (the wife) and I made our top five list…people I can hook up with and Jess can’t get mad. Anne Hathaway has cracked the list…so here it is…I’d love for all of you to post your lists:

5. Charlize Theron
4. Mary Louise Parker
3. Anne Hathaway
2. Marissa Tomei
1. Kate Beckinsale

So, if you know any of these ladies…give ‘em my number.

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Directed by: Billy Bob Thornton
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, John Ritter, Dwight Yokum, Natalie Canerday

Here’s a little insider’s tip to all you screenwriters out there: Mentally challenged characters are Hollywood gold! It seems like every movie that comes out featuring a retarded main character garners instant acclaim from both the Hollywood critical elite and consumers. Check it out: Of Mice and Men, Bill, Forrest Gump, Radio, and Pee-Wee Herman. And Billy Bob Thornton’s Karl Childers, of the movie Sling Blade, is no exception.

Karl Childers is a balcony-browed, shuffling, mentally challenged person who is released from a mental hospital where he’d spent most of his childhood and adult life for murdering his mother. He finds himself alone and helpless in his small Southern hometown, which is full of the sort of quirky, backwoods, but amiable types you’d expect to find in a small Southern town. With the help of a doctor from the mental hospital he finds a job in a small engine repair shop. Soon Karl is befriended by a young boy named Frank Wheatly (Black) who decides to bring him home. Miraculously, Frank’s mom (Canerday) and her boozing red-neck boyfriend (Yoakum) allow Karl to move into their garage.

Sling Blade is full of extremely wonderful performances. Billy Bob Thornton underwent an amazing physical transformation in becoming his character of Karl Childers. BBT (as we like to call him) would get up at 2:00 am every morning and spend 7 hours in the make up chair. Eventually someone would come along and ask him why he’d been sitting in the make up chair for 7 hours since his costume required no make up. That’s right, the look of Karl Childers was all done by BBT (that’s what they call him in the biz) by jutting his jaw out for upwards of 14 hours a day. This is true. It would cramp up so bad that it would lock! That’s dedicating your self to the role, and possibly months of physical therapy!

One pleasant surprise in the cast is John Ritter as Vaughan Cunningham, the local out-of-place gay man in this little backwater town. Ritter plunged into this role head first, coming at it from all angles, and nailed it hard. He really enslaved this character and pumped it up into a throbbing engorged mass of fantastic acting.

Similarly, Dwight Yokum executes a brilliant performance as Doyle Hargraves, the drunk, abusive red-neck boyfriend of little Frank’s mother. This character is a very subtle blend of comic relief and gut wrenching insidiousness.

All in all, I would say that Sling Blade is one of those mainstream movies that’s not really so mainstream and that, once seen, becomes an instant personal classic for anyone. I rank it up there with such wonderful films as The Shawshank Redemption, Cider House Rules and Zapped! starring Scot Baio.

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Directed by: Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Kenji Matsude, Chieko Misaka, Tak Sakaguchi, Hideo Sakaki

Versus is a Japanese movie about an eons long rivalry between good and evil which culminates in the Forrest of Resurrection in a 119 minute long battle involving swords, guns, karate, zombies, vampires, leather pants, and black trench coats.

I’m not generally into watching dubbed/subtitled films, and probably never would have seen this had it not been lent to my by a Japan-o-phile friend of mine, however, I am pleased to say that I did watch this movie and I loved it. And I’m a little ashamed to admit it…

The movie is by no means a brilliant work of art to span the generations. Nope, this flick is simply a really long, well done, fight scene with just enough story behind it to hold it together. Although the movie is well made, and the fights are very well choreographed and shot, I get the impression that this movie was made by a bunch of bored Japanese college kids.

“I’m bored, Haiku, what do you want to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Sanyo, let’s make a movie!”

“That is a grand idea, or my name isn’t Pu Pu Platter!”

This movie is action packed, comedic, tons of bloody fun and I definitely recommend it for any movie party, especially if there is beer involved. In fact, you could easily make a drinking game out of Versus. Every time someone gets hacked with a sword and blood spurts out as if shot from a fire hose everyone must take one drink. This game could possibly require several kegs.

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