I just read over at SuperHeroHype.com that Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a remake of the cult classic goth hit The Crow based on the noir comic creation by James O’Barr.
I’m a little skeptical as to whether or not this needs to be done. Well, let’s face it, this doesn’t need to be done. The Crow is pretty much perfect as-is.
However, in the hands of a master craftsman like Norrington I’m sure a Crow remake couldn’t miss or be a box office flop or spiral into a never ending shitfest of straight-to-DVD productions. He did bring us such cinematic masterworks as Blade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a movie full of CGI so bad that it makes Disney’s 1928 cartoon classic Steamboat Willie look like The Matrix.
Norrington’s vision is to have this new version of The Crow be a “realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style” film which means that all you goth kids out there can pretty much get out of line for tickets to this one and get back to your poetry slams, cutting and other overly dramatic pleas for attention and acceptance.
Of course, the question you should be asking yourself is “just who exactly is going to play this new Crow, anyway? You know?” I have an idea. Since we’re going for a more realistic, hard-edged, documentary style vibe, I propose Dennis Franz of NYPD Blue fame.
There is what appears to be a very interesting and amusing movie currently seeking distribution called The Mother of Invention about a young man – Vincent Dooly – vying for an inventor’s award. This looks to be a quirky little flick in the same vein of such films as Napoleon Dynamite, which means that – like Napolean Dynamite – either you’ll love it or you’ll hate it…there won’t much in between. His name is Vincent Dooly, and here is his super suit:
Well, kids, believe it or not I don’t have time to write a good meaty post today because…my wife and I are having a baby. Yep, we’re heading off to the hospital in about an hour for the big event. So I’ve decided to post some movie trailers for your viewing enjoyment!
Click for trailer or press play if embedded. Like I have to tell you this:
If you’re anything like me, then you love a good buddy movie. If you don’t love a good buddy movie then you need to be kicked in the liver. Buddy movies have everything we as human beings long for: friendship, camaraderie, cheer, companionability, companionship, comradeship, conviviality, esprit de corps, fellowship, gregariousness, intimacy, jollity and many other words than can be found in any good thesaurus.
Sometimes, though, movie buddies don’t really behave like buddies. Sometimes one or both of them behave like complete jackasses. Just like a dysfunctional family, they may love each other, but they also really, really, really get on each others’ nerves. Here’s a few of our favorite dysfunctional movie buddies.
Bud Abbott: I don’t get it. Out of all the guys around here that dame has to pick a guy like you. Lou Costello: What’s wrong with that? Bud Abbott: Why don’t you go take a look at yourself in the mirror. Lou Costello: Why should I hurt my own feelings?
THE THREE STOOGES
EVIDENCE:
This picture pretty much sums it up. Moe and Larry weren’t exactly nice to each other, but they both loved to beat the hell out of poor, fat Curly. The long term effects of continual eye pokes and having his head crushed in vices eventually took their toll and Curly had to be put to sleep;his bloated and bruised carcass donated to science. It is still on display in the Nyuk, Nyuk wing of the Simthsonian.
Well…there’s a bit too much for this little blog, but for starters: 1) They walk around IN PUBLIC wearing gigantic codpieces AND bowler hats, and 2) They beat the fuck out of everyone…including one another.
JAY & SILENT BOB
EVIDENCE:
Jay is an egotistical sex crazed delinquent and Silent Bob is a self imposed mute who only pipes up when he has some long winded obvious point to make. And they spend their free time hanging out outside of a convenience store.
One is an obsessive compulsive neat freak whose expectations of tidiness borders on the psychotic, while the other is a disgusting, trogloditic slob…and they live together! What wackiness must ensue!
LAUREL & HARDY
EVIDENCE:
Generally speaking, people who choose to wear bowler hats in public shouldn’t be trusted. Do I need to remind you about A Clockwork Orange?! In addition, one of them wears a Hitler style mustache and continually smacks around his severely retarded sidekick…who seems to accept the abuse as if it’s well deserved!
Anytime a slovenly shower curtain ring salesman gets involved with a straight laced marketing executive, you know you’re in for a world of crazy times! Case in point: Del convinces a throng of people that his shower curtain rings are actually EAR rings so that he and Neal can make some fast cash. Somehow these people are actually duped and fork over hundreds of dollars for these things. How they managed to fit shower curtain rings through tiny earring holes is a mystery that probably resulted in several trips to the emergency room. But by then, Neal and Del had long since skipped out of town!
Two words: Turbo Lax. In a jealous spat over a girl, Lloyd sneaks Harry and massive dose of laxative just before he is to embark on a date with the woman at the center of the two men’s strife. The result is…well…juicy. I’ll let this vid take over from here:
, which means that – like Napolean Dynamite – either you’ll love it or you’ll hate it…there won’t much in between. His name is Vincent Dooly, and here is his super suit:
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(1979)
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